Some of my readers inquired about resources for regaining balance during tough times. Here is an encore post from 2007 - 2008. I'll bring new resources into the mix next week.
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Show of hands, who’s feeling a bit squeezed by the challenge and uncertainty of the times? Based on what I hear in business and around the community, “a bit squeezed” is putting it mildly. In fact, many of us are feeling downright crushed by the pressure and concern over the shrinking economy, widespread environmental catastrophes and political instability. How can we still work and live at our best in these tough times? Recover our balance!
It’s a conundrum that many of us face in trying circumstances. When things are difficult and risky, we naturally want to make the right decision and take the right course of action because the margin for error is narrow. In other words, if we don’t get it right, we could really get it wrong. In many ways this “black and white” thinking creates an impossible expectation.
Finding the “right” answer is a tricky proposition in tough times because circumstances tend to be ambiguous and constantly changing. These swirling conditions are often immune to our logic, making our search for the “right” decision or action very difficult. Although we desperately desire the sure thing and a successful outcome, our modern world is sometimes too unpredictable to define in this way.
We can do ourselves a favor by reframing our pursuit of the “right choice” to the search for the “best choice”. The best choice is not about perfection; rather it is about finding the most reasonable path forward in a given situation based on what you know at a given point in time.
The key to finding the “best choice” in a fast-changing world is balance. Finding our balance is walking the tightrope of life, acknowledging that the only certain thing is uncertainty. To help you thrive in the uncertainty and move past the “black or white” and “right or wrong” kind of thinking, consider the following pairs of opposites. Because they exist on a continuum, they can remind us that in order to find our balance it’s not one or the other, but somewhere in between:
Microscopes and Telescopes – Think small and focus on the details while visioning big and thinking long-term.
Rudders and Sails – Take calculated and careful direction while allowing passion and wide ideas to flow.
Caring for Yourself and Helping Others – Make sure your own needs are met while giving support to others.
Hard Work and Lucky Breaks – Put your nose to the grindstone and make it happen while hoping for fortunate timing.
Although it can be confusing to live in the ambiguity, the search for balance along the continuum will help you navigate the grey areas in light of your deeper priorities. Choosing an absolute or polar opposite only serves to limit the important insight from the other end of the spectrum. However, if we are able to consider both opposite ends simultaneously, we can find a unique place on the continuum that blends them both. By continually asking the questions “where am I and where do I want to be” in time we can get clear about what matters most.
The next time you feel off balance and need to make a difficult decision, let go of the desire and pressure to find the one “right answer”. Instead, weigh your continuum of ideas and choices and settle on a reasonable reconciliation of your options. Imagine what’s possible when we find our balance and confidently move forward with the “best choice” all things considered.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
“The Knowing-Doing Gap”
Each year more than $60 billion dollars is spent on training programs in and by organizations in the United States. It is estimated that an additional $46 billion is spent on various types of consultants who offer their advice to individual and organizational clients. The question is, are these dollars well spent? When people attend trainings, workshops and retreats, or work with consultants to address problems, do they take the new information, knowledge and skills and implement them back in the workplace?
While we learn valuable new ideas and skills at these events, we often become quickly and painfully aware of the challenge of turning them into real changes. This gap between knowing and doing is something that must be understood and addressed if our money spent on training and development is going to be worth the investment.
While the gap is widely experienced, it is surprisingly under-researched. A promising long-term goal is to develop a research-based model to help people understand and close their gaps. In the meantime, I offer the following insight as a starting place to help you turn ideas into action.
I use a simple formula to understand what the nature of the gap is:
This equation illustrates the variables involved and it can be used in the form of questions to guide our thinking both before and after a training or other learning event. Questions like: How well do I understand the topic and how can I improve my knowledge of it? What is my current level of motivation and will that be sufficient when the initial excitement wanes? What are some obstacles to be aware of in changing behaviors or implementing change?
In addition to the above formula and questions, consider the following reminders as well:
Measure your goals on the substance of new knowledge and skill, not on excitement alone. We often experience a let down in motivation as we return to the “real world” and confront the obstacles to implementing new ideas and making real changes. Therefore, as we focus energy and attention on understanding and surrendering to the obstacles that could prevent us from “doing”, we are able to apply our motivation and excitement and keep our anticipated goals in proper perspective.
Start small and be specific. One of the biggest culprits of the “retreat letdown” or knowing-doing gap is the lofty expectation of how much new information/behavior can be implemented. Behavior change takes time and can best be accomplished in focused, incremental spurts. Start small, take one thing at a time and don’t give up.
Take a positive learning attitude. When you find obstacles to implementing new knowledge/skills, try to assess why the block is there. Avoid turning negative and becoming pessimistic. Imagine what’s possible when we can close or eliminate the gap between knowing and doing...
While we learn valuable new ideas and skills at these events, we often become quickly and painfully aware of the challenge of turning them into real changes. This gap between knowing and doing is something that must be understood and addressed if our money spent on training and development is going to be worth the investment.
While the gap is widely experienced, it is surprisingly under-researched. A promising long-term goal is to develop a research-based model to help people understand and close their gaps. In the meantime, I offer the following insight as a starting place to help you turn ideas into action.
I use a simple formula to understand what the nature of the gap is:
Understanding of knowledge/skill + motivation to improve – internal/external obstacles = GAP
This equation illustrates the variables involved and it can be used in the form of questions to guide our thinking both before and after a training or other learning event. Questions like: How well do I understand the topic and how can I improve my knowledge of it? What is my current level of motivation and will that be sufficient when the initial excitement wanes? What are some obstacles to be aware of in changing behaviors or implementing change?
In addition to the above formula and questions, consider the following reminders as well:
Measure your goals on the substance of new knowledge and skill, not on excitement alone. We often experience a let down in motivation as we return to the “real world” and confront the obstacles to implementing new ideas and making real changes. Therefore, as we focus energy and attention on understanding and surrendering to the obstacles that could prevent us from “doing”, we are able to apply our motivation and excitement and keep our anticipated goals in proper perspective.
Start small and be specific. One of the biggest culprits of the “retreat letdown” or knowing-doing gap is the lofty expectation of how much new information/behavior can be implemented. Behavior change takes time and can best be accomplished in focused, incremental spurts. Start small, take one thing at a time and don’t give up.
Take a positive learning attitude. When you find obstacles to implementing new knowledge/skills, try to assess why the block is there. Avoid turning negative and becoming pessimistic. Imagine what’s possible when we can close or eliminate the gap between knowing and doing...
Monday, February 9, 2009
Some Helpful Negotiation Tips for Tough Conversations
Last week a long-lost colleague got in touch with me again. He was facing a difficult work situation and wanted some tips on how to negotiate an important job change. I thought that some of what I shared with him may also be beneficial to you as you navigate the more difficult conversations and decisions that come your way.
Negotiation is a reflection of the dynamic world in which we live and it plays a significant role in our day-to-day lives. If we look at the world as a melting pot where differing needs, perspectives and desires constantly crash into each other, then negotiation - in some form or another - is the primary process of addressing these differences. A child’s bedtime or curfew, what movie the group will see, where the family will take a vacation, and how a business strategy will be designed and implemented are just a few simple examples of the everyday negotiation that we do.
Considering the fact that we are all negotiators all of the time, why isn’t there more attention paid to the knowledge and skill required to do it well? I am often asked for insights on successful negotiation and in response to those requests, this column features a summary of the guiding ideas that have helped me in my personal negotiations as well as the professional negotiations I have been a part of.
Negotiate Interests – Our interests explain the underlying reasons why we want things. Rather than trying to negotiate hard and immobile positions (i.e. “Your curfew is going to be 10:00 pm!”), discuss interests which can often be met in multiple ways (i.e. “I’m concerned that you will not get enough rest in order to be productive at school and soccer, so a 10:00 pm bedtime seems like it would give you ample sleep.”)
Be Hard On The Problem And Soft On The People – The first step toward successful negotiation is to frame differences as mutual problems to be solved. Getting both people in a more objective mindset can give you the opportunity to be hard on tackling the problem, but in a way that doesn’t personalize disagreements and reduce communication and goodwill.
Know What Matters To You – Some say that preparation is the most important part of any negotiation. It is vital that you know what your ‘walk away outcome’ really is. Often called a BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement), this bottom line helps you set a parameter about what will work for you. If you are unable to reach a negotiated settlement that is as good as or better than your BATNA, then you walk away.
Spend Time Understanding Their Perspective – Listening is not simply waiting for your turn to speak. Effective listening involves setting aside your own thoughts, defenses and judgments long enough to truly get inside their thinking about the problem. Understanding their interests is a key to generating options and solutions and when negotiations fail, it is often because the underlying interests and perspectives of both sides were not fully explored, understood and integrated into the discussion.
Break Issues Down Into Smaller Pieces – In complicated situations, getting stuck can hurt momentum and challenge the will of even the most optimistic negotiators. If you find yourself stuck at impasse, try breaking down issues into smaller pieces and addressing them one at a time, starting with the simpler ones. This may jumpstart a bigger breakthrough from an incremental level.
Validate The Other Sides’ Concerns – Problem solving often can’t occur until people have thoroughly expressed the impact of their experiences. We can accelerate the problem-solving phase of negotiation by earnestly acknowledging and validating the other sides’ concerns. This is not the same as agreeing with them, it simply helps them disarm their need to hold tight to past reactions and shift their thinking to future possibilities.
Seek Solutions That Will Satisfy Their Issues, As Well As Your Own – After the concerns of both sides have been fully understood and the underlying interests have been surfaced and put squarely on the table – it is time generate options and solutions. As proposals turn into potential areas of agreement, test them by asking if it satisfies both sides’ interests. Only mutually satisfying outcomes have the potential for durable agreement.
Negotiation is a reflection of the dynamic world in which we live and it plays a significant role in our day-to-day lives. If we look at the world as a melting pot where differing needs, perspectives and desires constantly crash into each other, then negotiation - in some form or another - is the primary process of addressing these differences. A child’s bedtime or curfew, what movie the group will see, where the family will take a vacation, and how a business strategy will be designed and implemented are just a few simple examples of the everyday negotiation that we do.
Considering the fact that we are all negotiators all of the time, why isn’t there more attention paid to the knowledge and skill required to do it well? I am often asked for insights on successful negotiation and in response to those requests, this column features a summary of the guiding ideas that have helped me in my personal negotiations as well as the professional negotiations I have been a part of.
Negotiate Interests – Our interests explain the underlying reasons why we want things. Rather than trying to negotiate hard and immobile positions (i.e. “Your curfew is going to be 10:00 pm!”), discuss interests which can often be met in multiple ways (i.e. “I’m concerned that you will not get enough rest in order to be productive at school and soccer, so a 10:00 pm bedtime seems like it would give you ample sleep.”)
Be Hard On The Problem And Soft On The People – The first step toward successful negotiation is to frame differences as mutual problems to be solved. Getting both people in a more objective mindset can give you the opportunity to be hard on tackling the problem, but in a way that doesn’t personalize disagreements and reduce communication and goodwill.
Know What Matters To You – Some say that preparation is the most important part of any negotiation. It is vital that you know what your ‘walk away outcome’ really is. Often called a BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement), this bottom line helps you set a parameter about what will work for you. If you are unable to reach a negotiated settlement that is as good as or better than your BATNA, then you walk away.
Spend Time Understanding Their Perspective – Listening is not simply waiting for your turn to speak. Effective listening involves setting aside your own thoughts, defenses and judgments long enough to truly get inside their thinking about the problem. Understanding their interests is a key to generating options and solutions and when negotiations fail, it is often because the underlying interests and perspectives of both sides were not fully explored, understood and integrated into the discussion.
Break Issues Down Into Smaller Pieces – In complicated situations, getting stuck can hurt momentum and challenge the will of even the most optimistic negotiators. If you find yourself stuck at impasse, try breaking down issues into smaller pieces and addressing them one at a time, starting with the simpler ones. This may jumpstart a bigger breakthrough from an incremental level.
Validate The Other Sides’ Concerns – Problem solving often can’t occur until people have thoroughly expressed the impact of their experiences. We can accelerate the problem-solving phase of negotiation by earnestly acknowledging and validating the other sides’ concerns. This is not the same as agreeing with them, it simply helps them disarm their need to hold tight to past reactions and shift their thinking to future possibilities.
Seek Solutions That Will Satisfy Their Issues, As Well As Your Own – After the concerns of both sides have been fully understood and the underlying interests have been surfaced and put squarely on the table – it is time generate options and solutions. As proposals turn into potential areas of agreement, test them by asking if it satisfies both sides’ interests. Only mutually satisfying outcomes have the potential for durable agreement.
Monday, February 2, 2009
"Manage Like There Will Be A Tomorrow”
This is the fourth part in a four-part series designed to give managers and leaders constructive insights to navigate these difficult times. Come back to the blog next Monday for new posts on different themes related to personal and professional development. As always, if the writing supports and inspires you – please share it with friends and colleagues.
Part three described the specific barriers that that managers and leaders need to see right now in order to limit the reach and impact of the current business crisis. Part four will bring this special blog series together in the form of an action plan for immediate progress.
Part Four
In Part One, you made the shift and began to move forward confidently to “Manage Like There Will Be A Tomorrow.” In part two, we identified the reasons that continuous learning and performance is a matter of survival during these difficult times. We left off in Part Three with a powerful list of some of the more prominent obstacles to continuous learning and performance. So now what?
Now, let's put it all together. If you are going to manage like there will be a tomorrow, you have to plan for it. I've heard it said that the best way to predict the future is to create it. Part four is designed to help you take the first few steps toward creating the future you want. Specifically, we’ll go through a brief, guided facilitation to help you put together a game plan for February – a few key action steps for the Next 20 - 30 Days.
When wrestling with a big goal or challenge, it can help to break it down in smaller pieces. In that spirit, let's take the first step and brainstorm a commitment statement that captures what matters most to you about “Managing Like There Will Be A Tomorrow:”
I Am Committed To: _________________________
Now, write down two or three important objectives for the next month. These can relate to the kind of attitude and motivation you hope to maintain, or they can be specific to addressing some of the barriers to learning and performance we identified in Part Three.
Key Objectives:
1. ______________________________________
2. ______________________________________
3. ______________________________________
Next, for each of these objectives, list the first two action steps that will lead to achieving the objective:
Objective #1 -
Action Step (A): _______________________________
Action Step (B): _______________________________
Now, continue this action planning step for your additional objectives as well. And finally, put some timelines to each of the action steps so that you being to instill some basic accountability and measures of success. Even a basic action plan like this can help you move from great ideas to real changes. There is also something very powerful about putting pen to paper and creating a graphic form of our inner goals and commitments.
Remember, when everything around us falls away, what remains is what is true for us. Our values are the silent, but powerful, guiding forces that shape our experience. Our values are what we must rely on. As you move forward, Managing Like There Will Be A Tomorrow, I encourage you to embrace what is true to you. If people matter most, then put others first. If you want to stretch and grow, then take risks. Follow the path and see where it leads...
Part three described the specific barriers that that managers and leaders need to see right now in order to limit the reach and impact of the current business crisis. Part four will bring this special blog series together in the form of an action plan for immediate progress.
Part Four
In Part One, you made the shift and began to move forward confidently to “Manage Like There Will Be A Tomorrow.” In part two, we identified the reasons that continuous learning and performance is a matter of survival during these difficult times. We left off in Part Three with a powerful list of some of the more prominent obstacles to continuous learning and performance. So now what?
Now, let's put it all together. If you are going to manage like there will be a tomorrow, you have to plan for it. I've heard it said that the best way to predict the future is to create it. Part four is designed to help you take the first few steps toward creating the future you want. Specifically, we’ll go through a brief, guided facilitation to help you put together a game plan for February – a few key action steps for the Next 20 - 30 Days.
When wrestling with a big goal or challenge, it can help to break it down in smaller pieces. In that spirit, let's take the first step and brainstorm a commitment statement that captures what matters most to you about “Managing Like There Will Be A Tomorrow:”
I Am Committed To: _________________________
Now, write down two or three important objectives for the next month. These can relate to the kind of attitude and motivation you hope to maintain, or they can be specific to addressing some of the barriers to learning and performance we identified in Part Three.
Key Objectives:
1. ______________________________________
2. ______________________________________
3. ______________________________________
Next, for each of these objectives, list the first two action steps that will lead to achieving the objective:
Objective #1 -
Action Step (A): _______________________________
Action Step (B): _______________________________
Now, continue this action planning step for your additional objectives as well. And finally, put some timelines to each of the action steps so that you being to instill some basic accountability and measures of success. Even a basic action plan like this can help you move from great ideas to real changes. There is also something very powerful about putting pen to paper and creating a graphic form of our inner goals and commitments.
Remember, when everything around us falls away, what remains is what is true for us. Our values are the silent, but powerful, guiding forces that shape our experience. Our values are what we must rely on. As you move forward, Managing Like There Will Be A Tomorrow, I encourage you to embrace what is true to you. If people matter most, then put others first. If you want to stretch and grow, then take risks. Follow the path and see where it leads...
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